UPDATE

For those who are interested in how I'm doing and stuff...
I'm moving house this week- we're going to be homeless for a month probably so I'll just go back to Marsworth and commute til our rental or sale is sorted out (basically there are 2 identical houses in our building that are up for rent/sale - and one way or another we're almost certainly going to end up living in one of them!)
I'm curently trying not to stress too much about money (what's new)- the agency I've been working for don't have nearly enough work to go round now the sales are over so I'm hardly earning anything at the mo. I've got a job interview with a care-work agency tomorrow but that will take 5 weeks to go through anyway because I have to get ANOTHER flippin CRB check which the cheeky whatnots want me to pay for! I'm also chasing up a couple of other job possibilities- but all prayers are most welcome!
On a happier note- I'm having mucho funo with my new Christmas ipod nano! I'm probably going to get arrested for singing in the street -oh no wait that's only illegal outside parliament right? ;-) -Am currently listening to an album Rob lent me called ALTER-BOYZ The Musical: which is a show about a Christian boy band (think 'Saved'). Rob said it's hilarious but that's because he still has some shame. I think anyone who's done a schools-tour with a Christian pop band -and certainly anyone who's dated a "Christian rapper" ;-) - would find these songs with titles like "Church Rulez", "God put the rhythm in me" and "La Viva Eternal" so close to reality that it's not even tongue-in-cheek.
Anyway- plans for this week-
It's my new band's first gig on Thursday. Well, actually it's just a jam night at a pub, but it's our first outing so we thought we'd start small! Apparently we're called NOT QUITE FAMOUS (hmmm) - and we play Motown and 70s disco covers. Lovely Luton bass-player Jo is in it and a bunch of people you've never met. And last night at practice, for the first time I thought, blimey, we sound really good.
Jude's birthday is almost upon us- so looking forward to all associated shannannigans (have no idea how to spell that but loving putting all those n's in). Am also planning a little trip to Essex to see my hilarious mate Lee (a friend from South Pacific) in his panto. So there we go.

Grey: The New Red

In a not-so-disguised attempt to get a comment on my blog published in The Guardian, I'm going to start randomly commenting on current affairs.
So here's your high-brow section boys and girls....

Leave. Them. Alone. The Forestry Commission has been given the job of killing grey squirrels because of the threat they are to the native red squirrel. Is it just me or is everything a "threat: to be controlled and contained" these days. Squirrels? Really? Anyway, I protest. For a number of reasons....
1) I like grey squirrels. They're tough and fearless little buggers, they like to eat (anthing and everything- I'm with you guys), and they have a totally comedy appearance (like a miniature kangeroo with a feather-duster up its butt).
2) Let's straighten something out. These are not ruthless killers. They are not turning up at red squirrels' warrens with AK47s, assuming their identities and burying them under their patios. This isn't even a tale of cross-cultural West-Side-Story style gang rivalry. The poor little greys are just inadvertantly carrying a virus which has no effect on them but kills a red within 2 weeks. They're SICK little fluffy animals... and probably quite paranoid ones now that they've seen friend-after-fluffly-red-friend kick the bucket soon after their meeting...
3) I hate all this "they're not really British" business. If the first greys arrived in the 1870s, then we must be on at least the 30th generation of them by now. Are they still squeaking in American accents? Do they salute the star spangled banner every morning before nut collection? Would we like them to attend citizenship class?
And let me get this straight. They sail across the Atlantic during the mid-19th Century and upon arriving in a new world proceed to disrupt the native way of life with their different approach to the land and bring a pox that kills much of the indigenous population. Any of this sounding strangely familiar?

Best present Ever Ever EVER

Yesterday I received a parcel in the post. Rob, thinking that I was probably bored to death with squirting Ralph Lauren at passers-by (and not far-wrong), had sent me a present to cheer me up. It wasn't until this morning that I had a chance to listen to my new CD - "Wearing Someone Else's Clothes" the new (well only) album by Jason Robert Brown and his Caucasian Rhythm Kings.
Joy oh joy. This (as I had suspected since going to his concert in December...twice), is musical bliss. I don't orinarily like to recomend music to others as I am all too aware of my unusual tastes, but let's put it this way...

I listened to the entire album through twice in one sitting doing nothing other than listening, drinking tea, dancing round the kitchen, and trying not to cry at the very very moving and beautifully melodic "Someone to Fall Back On." "Getting Out" and "I could be in love with someone like you" are comedy genius. There's a gospel section at the end of "Coming Together" that sends not shivers but bolts of lightening up your spine, with impossibly hot vocals from guest singer Lilias White.

Meanwhile, "Music of Heaven", which I can only imagine is written about an experience non-Christian JRB had in church once - is surely the greatest encouragement/motivation/heart-break any worship-leader could get from a song:
"Cynical, cold,
Challenging music of heaven
to open a crack in my chest
and let something glorious in...
...They sing and cry and I watch,
Lean back in my chair,
The classic New Yorker,
Alone among millions,
Indifference upon my face,
Out of place, but longing to feel what you feel...
Dry eyes and cold hands,
Judging and standing apart...
...waiting and wondering
when will it open my heart?...
And I hear you sing Holy Father,
and I want to sing Holy Father,
I need to cry, I need to believe
...and I can say yes!
Let the music begin. "
(extract from Music of Heaven by Jason Robert Brown)

Thank you Bertie, you're a gem.

A Poem

I guess anyone having a really winning week might want to avoid my more sincere blogs at the moment! But on a similar theme to Wednesday's thoughts about failure... (coz it's great to be so upbeat!)

There's a lyric in a Jason Robert Brown song:
"When people think I'm failing, they never understand that temporary setbacks are part of what I planned..."

But if you're really in the mood for some profundity...
My incredible drama school teacher Ian Ricketts (aka: the yoda of GSA) in all his wisdom sent me this poem about a year ago for seemingly no reason whatsoever. It's wonderfully wise and very beautiful and I don't think he'd mind at all me sharing it with you.

How much is owed to suffering we avoid,
both pain and implication stab
before we can assemble the defence
and wherever, to whomever, it may be
it occupies, preoccupies, our consciousness.

The keep is manned by foreigners,
inscrutable, remorseless, humourless
and strange; unthinkable we could
absorb them as our own and yet
in time we do, the hourly knock,
the uniform we recognise in silhouette,
the tread and the habitual smell
become familiar.

Exchange is first in anger, pain and disbelief
invasion happened undeserved and
unprovoked; it came mid-afternoon
a first warm sun upon the face, or on
a morning when the pattern of routine
seemed firm, from first encounter
with the early Greek to vistas
unimaginable ahead.

But there it is, it came
and then, by stealth, this hurt
ordains our taste, our values
and our government, grows
in our gardens, bearing wit
and even shapes the skill
for which intent remains to serve
that yet more subtle cause
for which we breathe,
for which we came.

By Ian Ricketts

Neighbours: Wednesday

Well now we know how to simulate a plane crash with a btec in screenwriting and an effects budget of £0.

GEEK WEEK

In response to my plan to read more books than I managed last year (6), Jude suggested the Harry Potter Series, and having ruthlessly hooked me by reading the first chapter aloud at 3am when I was too tired to argue, lent me The Philosophers Stone.
Despite my natural aversion to all things fantastical, especially those involving goblins and dragons, I was reeled in just like everyone else. I started…wait for it… reading instead of watching TV. I finished it in a week (and I read SUPER SLOW!!!) So Jude’s lending me the other books and I’m well on my way to embracing the geek within.

So in celebration of my literary success, I would like to hereby declare this week GEEK WEEK. Everyone must do at least one geeky thing everyday (some may find this easier than others) and log down your nerdy achievements in the comments box.

Innocence Lost

Talking of children’s books – I recently saw a theatrical adaptation of prize-winning children’s novel Coram Boy at the National Theatre. Teenage pregnancy, mass infanticide, child sex trafficking and a very realistic public hanging were just some of the elements that made up this pitch black 19th century “tale of two orphans.” Were kids books always this dark? Ok, we always had stories about kid wizards and old hags and dragons in the classroom and stuff- but that’s because it’s every kids’ fantasy to have some sort of magic autonomy like the control adults seemingly inexplicably have over children. Then there was the fad that was Point Horror. But since when did kids read real-life crap on the page?
p.s. I told my sister at the interval it was too bleak and I felt both removed and unmoved by the play. She was, as you can imagine, laughing like a big smug thing when a small slave child finally having a mother to look after him reduced me to a quivering sobbing wreck. “Unmoved, huh…”

WINTER HIBERNATION

Apprently, bereft of my televisual wisdom, you’ve all ended up sat in front of American Idol and Chuckle Brother re-runs. But fear not my lovlies- your knightess in sparkly armour is finally here to rescue you from TV hell…

First things first though- we’d better clear some space in that TV Guide:

WHAT NOT TO WATCH

- Celebrity Big Brother – who are they?
- Soaps – Let me save you the bother: there’s nothing happening. In any of them.
- Lost – They found a shaft? Big deal. Season 2 will soon be coming to E4. My advice: don’t bother.
- E.R. – What once was cutting edge drama now looks like one long Déjà vu. The only hope for this, the 8000th Season is that the wonderfully feisty Sally from 3rd Rock From The Sun is joining the cast as the new no-nonsense nurse. (Anyone else remember when she brilliantly parodied ER on 3rd Rock?)
- C.S.I. – These impossibly beautiful, wildly inappropriately dressed Crime Scene Investigators – [in 1 episode a female lead searched for clues in a blood-drenched room wearing a tight white designer suit] – seem to have taken over Channel 5. My parents even seem to know which of the identical characters belong to which of the 300 carbon-copy spin-off shows. – [CSI Miami, CSI Las Vegas, CSI Potters Bar…] With lines like “The killer obviously knew something about dwarf physiology” they’re obviously paying their writers in monkey-nuts. Most bizarre though is the way they depict a gaggle of detectives each with an encyclopaedic knowledge of, say, botany, genetics, woodlice, country dancing, Lithuanian royalty…well ANYTHING they can write a murder mystery around, and yet not one of them has the common sense to turn on the lights! I don’t think I can bare to watch one more CSI fannying around in the dark trying to discover clues and fingerprints with his pocket torch.


So…. Instead , pick from one of these treats:

ON THE BOX

- WW6 (more4, Fri 9pm) – Obviously.
- The O.C. – Back on terrestrial where it belongs, tune in to the brand new Season 3 on Ch.4 Sundays 2pm for beautiful people getting melodramatic on their yachts, plus lots of cheeky wit and self-referential irony. (How many times this series will Ryan punch someone at a party in defence of Marissa's/his family's honour? Ladies and Gentlemen, your bets please….)
- Desperate Housewives – Is Mike dead? We’ll soon know… (Wed. night,Ch.4)
- Sports Night – Season 2 is apparently showing on abc1. Catch it while you can because the DVDs cost £45. Totally genius sitcom from the clever clog who wrote the Wing. Makes you long to work on a cable sports channel (weird), plus it’s the only place you can see hunky Nate's great acting since he died on Six Feet Under.
- Dancing On Ice – It’s a totally cheap and tacky copycat version of Strictly Come Dancing, but the costumes are fabulously camp, seeing Torville and Dean again is like putting on an old pair of slipers that've been warming by the fire and being as the two kings of Saturday night entertainment (Ant n’ Dec) are AWOL there’s nothing else to choose from anyway. Years of dance give Bonnie Langford and John Barrowman clear advantages but Andi Peters has already won our hearts with all that mincing and falling over. But did they really have to call the judges the “Ice Panel”???
- House (Thurs.10pm,Ch.4) – OK, it is le grand fromage, and more predictable than the appointment of a Catholic Pope, but Hugh Laurie has a Golden Globe to prove that Doctor House is his most charismatic performance since Bertie Wooster and though little else, this is glossy, mindless fun.

And if all that doesn’t interest you…

KATE’S CHOICE OF LATEST DVD RELEASES

- Arrested Development (Seasons 1&2 available) – Witty, original, laugh-out-loud funny, this show has won every award going and just recently been axed after it’s 3rd Series. Shame. As Maeby says in Season 2, “Why are we going after this idiot demographic?”
- Scrubs (Seasons 1-3 available) – So much more than slapstick. A fine character comedy with a winning ensemble cast. Laugh-a-minute. (Michael- do they really have an ass-box?)
- The Frighteners (Directors Cut) – Peter Jackson’s 1996 comedy horror starring Michael J.Fox as an ordinary Joe accidentally embroiled in a ghouly mystery, was meant to be a PG-13 but when it got an R-Rating Jackson added more gore. Still, this is a very funny, very dark adventure, but well worth the trip. (And for the film-buffs- the extras on this are supposed to be wicked.)


CINEMATIC ANTICIAPATION FOR….

MUNICH
WALK THE LINE
THE GRIZZLY MAN

FREE-FAILING

I feel a sense of failure almost constantly. I couldn’t tell you how it began or whether it is just a part of who I am, but lately I have been considering embracing failure as a positive life-style choice! There are definite positives to failure as well as negatives. Artisan had some great stuff on failure in its Autumn Issue. For those not lucky enough to receive what really is a GREAT publication (always brutally and helpfully honest) Let me share the best failure related quotes with you:

“Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavour.” Truman Capote
Craig Detweiler then goes on to chat about how aiming high and dreaming of far-fetched successes might be the “failure” of many an aspiring artist but they are also positive and important qualities lacking in the Christian community.

“Anybody can sympathise with the sufferings of a friend but it requires a very fine nature to sympathise with a friend’s success.” Oscar Wilde
Wilde hits the nail on the head there (again) I reckon. It’s easy to presume as Christians secure in our identities and trusting in God for our futures that we are above petty jealousy, but in my case at least, it’s not true. Some of the toughest times to be a friend seem to be when you are having no success and a mate has great news that they need you to delight in with them. I guess that being called to be different isn't always about being immune to such things but going through them with Jesus and relying on his help and grace.

“More tears are shed over answered prayers than unanswered prayers.” St. Teresa of Avila
Since I read this, I remind myself of it often and can always think of a recent example of its truth.

“Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.” Winston Churchill
How much do other people’s judgements of us or at least our perceptions of their judgements stop us from doing this?

DEAD OR ALIVE

Many of you already know that my mum had an unfortunate Christmas shopping mishap in which I ended up with the contents of another Kate John’s Amazon Wish List. Having thoroughly enjoyed the entire first season of Twin Peaks after its very unexpected arrival, I was eager to discover the conclusions to all the many cliff-hangers in the final episode, including the shooting of the Holmesian hero, FBI Agent Cooper. But it turns out Season 2 is not available for love nor money. So if there’s anyone out there who has seen or knows someone who’s seen the 2nd Series, please let me know whether my lovely genius Agent Cooper made it to Season 2!

PLAY OF THE DAY

Lights up on a Harrods Shop Assistant standing beside a large scarf rack. She is folding scaves and a large sign reading “50% OFF AL SCARVES” hangs above her. A young man enters and approaches her.

MAN: Are these your scarves?
ASSISTANT: (pause) Yes.

Hold onto your pants. IT'S COMING.....