The New Adventures of Miss Katerina Juan

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

WINTER HIBERNATION

Apprently, bereft of my televisual wisdom, you’ve all ended up sat in front of American Idol and Chuckle Brother re-runs. But fear not my lovlies- your knightess in sparkly armour is finally here to rescue you from TV hell…

First things first though- we’d better clear some space in that TV Guide:

WHAT NOT TO WATCH

- Celebrity Big Brother – who are they?
- Soaps – Let me save you the bother: there’s nothing happening. In any of them.
- Lost – They found a shaft? Big deal. Season 2 will soon be coming to E4. My advice: don’t bother.
- E.R. – What once was cutting edge drama now looks like one long Déjà vu. The only hope for this, the 8000th Season is that the wonderfully feisty Sally from 3rd Rock From The Sun is joining the cast as the new no-nonsense nurse. (Anyone else remember when she brilliantly parodied ER on 3rd Rock?)
- C.S.I. – These impossibly beautiful, wildly inappropriately dressed Crime Scene Investigators – [in 1 episode a female lead searched for clues in a blood-drenched room wearing a tight white designer suit] – seem to have taken over Channel 5. My parents even seem to know which of the identical characters belong to which of the 300 carbon-copy spin-off shows. – [CSI Miami, CSI Las Vegas, CSI Potters Bar…] With lines like “The killer obviously knew something about dwarf physiology” they’re obviously paying their writers in monkey-nuts. Most bizarre though is the way they depict a gaggle of detectives each with an encyclopaedic knowledge of, say, botany, genetics, woodlice, country dancing, Lithuanian royalty…well ANYTHING they can write a murder mystery around, and yet not one of them has the common sense to turn on the lights! I don’t think I can bare to watch one more CSI fannying around in the dark trying to discover clues and fingerprints with his pocket torch.


So…. Instead , pick from one of these treats:

ON THE BOX

- WW6 (more4, Fri 9pm) – Obviously.
- The O.C. – Back on terrestrial where it belongs, tune in to the brand new Season 3 on Ch.4 Sundays 2pm for beautiful people getting melodramatic on their yachts, plus lots of cheeky wit and self-referential irony. (How many times this series will Ryan punch someone at a party in defence of Marissa's/his family's honour? Ladies and Gentlemen, your bets please….)
- Desperate Housewives – Is Mike dead? We’ll soon know… (Wed. night,Ch.4)
- Sports Night – Season 2 is apparently showing on abc1. Catch it while you can because the DVDs cost £45. Totally genius sitcom from the clever clog who wrote the Wing. Makes you long to work on a cable sports channel (weird), plus it’s the only place you can see hunky Nate's great acting since he died on Six Feet Under.
- Dancing On Ice – It’s a totally cheap and tacky copycat version of Strictly Come Dancing, but the costumes are fabulously camp, seeing Torville and Dean again is like putting on an old pair of slipers that've been warming by the fire and being as the two kings of Saturday night entertainment (Ant n’ Dec) are AWOL there’s nothing else to choose from anyway. Years of dance give Bonnie Langford and John Barrowman clear advantages but Andi Peters has already won our hearts with all that mincing and falling over. But did they really have to call the judges the “Ice Panel”???
- House (Thurs.10pm,Ch.4) – OK, it is le grand fromage, and more predictable than the appointment of a Catholic Pope, but Hugh Laurie has a Golden Globe to prove that Doctor House is his most charismatic performance since Bertie Wooster and though little else, this is glossy, mindless fun.

And if all that doesn’t interest you…

KATE’S CHOICE OF LATEST DVD RELEASES

- Arrested Development (Seasons 1&2 available) – Witty, original, laugh-out-loud funny, this show has won every award going and just recently been axed after it’s 3rd Series. Shame. As Maeby says in Season 2, “Why are we going after this idiot demographic?”
- Scrubs (Seasons 1-3 available) – So much more than slapstick. A fine character comedy with a winning ensemble cast. Laugh-a-minute. (Michael- do they really have an ass-box?)
- The Frighteners (Directors Cut) – Peter Jackson’s 1996 comedy horror starring Michael J.Fox as an ordinary Joe accidentally embroiled in a ghouly mystery, was meant to be a PG-13 but when it got an R-Rating Jackson added more gore. Still, this is a very funny, very dark adventure, but well worth the trip. (And for the film-buffs- the extras on this are supposed to be wicked.)


CINEMATIC ANTICIAPATION FOR….

MUNICH
WALK THE LINE
THE GRIZZLY MAN

1 Comments:

  • At 2:24 PM, Blogger Liz said…

    .....actually, after a disappointing first season, I think Season 2 of Lost is actually rather good (people download it from America..)

     

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